lydia’s manifesto for women (&men)

Dear women; Let’s stop this nonsense! Since the moment we first understood that men and women attract one another we have been on the lookout for the ‘perfect man’, filling out heads with mostly frivolous and illusory expectations and standards…but underneath all the fluff instilled in us by society, culture, and the media, we all dream of the same sort of “real man”: a man who takes responsibility for himself, who appreciates how his actions ripple out into the world and who does his own metaphorical laundry. A man who feels; who cries when he’s sad and laughs in his joy; who asks for help when he’s lost and apologizes when he is wrong. A man who doesn’t try to be a hero – who is a human being who stumbles and falls, going through life with open eyes and the determination to do his best. A man who offers himself to life – giving himself 100% to whatever comes across his path without resentment or neglect. A man who protects without trying to rescue, asserts himself without showing off, who leads but doesn’t try to possess, and whose words bring action and spread honest truth. A man who at every instance Loves women; not lustful, possessive, macho love…Love like a tree loves the soil it grows in; a man who Loves women above all else – above pride, above ambition, above his own desire, and who sees in women the secret she hardly dares to believe herself – that a free woman is the living manifestation of perfection and beauty.

We are all looking for these men – and the painful truth is that ALL men have this within them, but it takes a women utterly true to herself to invite him out.

Things have gotten the way they are in the world because men and women have forgotten themselves, and therefore forgotten how to find one another – leaving both sexes feeling neglected and untrusting. There is a lot to say about the unraveling that has come about between men and women, but when it comes to repairing this divide there is something critical to understand in the difference between men and women; together they make something complete, meaning that they are two seperate pieces which together make a whole. They do not have the same needs and abilities because they were never meant to exist alone. Men exist as a mirror for women; his greatest ability (his “only real authority”, Barry Long) is in bringing joyful pleasure to women. Women exist as a living representation OF pleasure – and through pleasure she knows her one genuine submission to man as the overflowing chalice of Love. So the old adige that men need women but women don’t need men is not exactly true; to have any real purpose (to know themselves as Gods) men must be allowed to express their appreciation of women, and to embody their power (to know themselves as Goddesses) women must let men do this. But most of the time, we don’t. We have had fear and resentment and dominance conditioned into us (ironically, often by men themselves) so that the idea of surrendering utterly to a man inspires hysterical laughter in many women, or else the urge to break things and run for the hills. But if men are the hammering fist, then women are the closed door against which he is beating himself. Women, as the living manifestations of Love, are the ones with the greatest power to make a change. It’s time to stop manipulating men. If you don’t see that this is what you’re doing, let me assure you that no one but the most dedicated con-artist would dedicate themselves to self-limitation to the extent that we have. We are masters; so thoroughly engrossed in our posing that some of us have convinced even ourselves it’s genuine. We play alluring, using his attraction for us as leverage and putting ourselves on the market so that we might catch the attention that makes us feel worthy; we play strong, miming ‘power’ as we have observed in men so as to intimidate him and feel competent in a man’s world; we play helpless to draw him in, making ourselves small so that he might feel big and influential – puffing up his ego in the hope that he might become addicted to the feeling; we play mother, hushing and soothing and patting him into a little boy so that we can feel superior; we play seductive, making ourselves into the wet-dream of exactly the sort of man we’d like to attract (though whether our conscious idealism matches our energetic output is another matter), dangling ourselves in front of his nose, conditioning him through the swing of either lavishing attention on him or withholding contact until he is either reduced to a panting house pet or resigned to the leash which he occasionally tugs on, resulting in outbursts of (justifiable if not constructive) anger, disloyalty, aggression, and sabotage to every relationship he can reach. We dominate him, attacking with whatever weapons we find in our hands, drawing out his insecurities, instilling guilt by playing the victim, and encourage false idealism (to which he knows he will never measure up). We shame him, trick him, beguile him, smother him, intimidate him…all so as to back him into a corner and we might feel vindicated in our own fears and resentments. We resent him for his weakness at the same time that we do everything we can to domesticate him out of his natural wildness. This does not a real man make. This is not Love, and therefore it is not Woman. Sisters…please. Before blaming men for your dysfunctional relationships or playing the victim in a man’s world, take a look at your relationship with Men as a whole. Try to distinguish between what you have experienced and what you have learned; examine the parts you have played up until now and ask yourself honestly whether they have ever gotten you where you wanted to be. Since the dawn of time we have known that women rule the world and men build it, so if we’d like to know who is responsible for the mess we need look no farther than the dirt under our own nails. Take courage sisters, and be strong like a woman; with Love, through trust, in surrender to the knowledge that no one (no man) can bring about any harm we do not wish on ourselves. We can rebuild the world. We can bridge the gap between the sexes and turn our attention from revenge and survival to celebration and expansion. We can reinstate men as the Gods of our pleasure and once more know ourselves as the mothers of the universe. It just takes a leap of faith, and the willingness to go in search of your truth. Start now.

P.S. To the men reading this, there is also much for you to do: don’t encourage the games women play by falling for them…if it doesn’t sound like love, look like love, or FEEL like love, it’s not love, and wishing otherwise won’t change that – so follow the women (and men) who offer you real Love NOW (not only after you’ve changed everything about yourself and built up a kingdom for her); face up to your own hunger, and stop inflicting it onto women…you will only know how to love her when you can see past your next orgasm – and trust me, you’ll want all your energy when she opens to you; practice patience…and silence. While being still you will see all the things you miss while imposing yourself…like peace, and your own center of balance. A man who isn’t afraid of the inside of his own head has a lot more to offer the world than one constantly trying to drown himself out.

And remember – we love you!