Relationships – Essence vs. Personality
Authentic friendships and deep love relationships can only occur if there is a connection of Essence to Essence, not personality to personality.
Yet, the vast majority of humans only relate from false self to false self, believing it is their true self, and then add even more layers of false personality masks by “role” playing or contrived behavior rules of how you “should” act as we see in the polarity movement or in many other superficial self-development programs of how to win friends or find a partner that only strengthens the false personality at the cost of Essence.
Most often, the false personality-based relationships are driven by conscious or unconscious sexual polarization and projections, similar to the first anima/animus stage in Jung’s work. It means that the lower [mechanical] nature still overrides the higher nature/self and connection to Essence.
There is nothing wrong with personality-based relationships based on superficial values and appearance in light of the evolution of consciousness, for everyone is at a different level of being [soul embodiment].
But at some point in the evolutionary journey over lifetimes, the call of the soul being gets stronger, and the seeker is not looking for fulfillment in another person anymore based on “personality traits” [or sexual drives] and appearance as the call to bring forth Essence intensifies.
False personality is also a product of trauma, the [unconscious] suppression of uncomfortable feelings, shadow repression, childhood wounding, and social, cultural, and religious programming, all of which create more armor, defense mechanisms, and personality masks – some of it may take lifetimes to undo depending on the level of being and karmic lessons.
The secret is to bring forth Essence consciously. Once you live from Essence and not from personality, the right relationships fall into place naturally, while the fake and contrived ones fall away without complaint, regret, blame, or superiority. It’s quality over quantity.
Then you will naturally find the right ones that have been with you already over many lifetimes. The obvious question is, how do you find Essence, your true soul being and divine Self￼? It’s the aim of the Great Work and is often symbolized as finding the “Holy Grail.”
The old self/false personality needs to “die” so one can be “reborn” in the true self/Essence as symbolized in the crucifixion/resurrection story throughout the ages (even before Jesus).
This is not a pleasant process, for there is much resistance from the lower nature, addictions, attachments, temptations, and interference of occult forces. Ultimately, the battle is within.
To rise in Essence is the “second birth,” as your divine soul becomes the master as a conscious transducer of the Divine in service to the Divine.
But in the end, all there is are lessons.