The law of ascent and descent by Bernhard Guenther
You can only truly rise into higher levels of being and awakening as deep as you are willing (and able) to go into the shadow within yourself, revealing & healing all trauma and wounding from your childhood and over lifetimes.
The path towards awakening spirals up, down, in, out, back, and forth, expanding on all levels and bringing up everything.
Anything that is asleep within us (unconscious) will be put under the spotlight of Truth.
Throughout my life, I noticed that the deeper and lower I fell into the shadow of my being all the way to the most toxic mud of internalized shame with suicidal thought injections and was able to work through and transmute the suffering, emerging wounds, and trauma, the higher I was able to rise – the descent and ascent at the same time.
I also realized how little control I – who I “think” I am – actually had over this process. The suffering also initiated a deep longing within me to (re)unite with the Divine, the only true source of unconditional Joy and Love. The most important relationship.
But then, I encountered another paradox.
The more sincerely I aspired towards the Divine, bringing forth my true Self, engaging in the necessary inner [psychological & spiritual] work towards soul-individuation (embodiment), the more my lower nature resisted and the more the hostile forces interfered.
It’s an internal war – walking through hell to reach the light.
The battle is within – to die and burn in the fire of transmutation to be reborn.
I now understood when Sri Aurobindo said: “No one can reach heaven who has not passed through hell.”
There are forces who do not wish for you to awaken to your true nature, and they will use any trickery, trauma, shadow aspects you have within you, and any temptation targeting the specific weaknesses of your lower nature and ego as entry points to keep you imprisoned out of your own making.
They are your “teachers,” for they highlight what you need to heal and transmute.
They test your sincerity and integrity.
All there is are lessons, tests, & initiations.
The traps are getting stuck in blame & victim consciousness, self-pity, or self-importance, along with entitlement and laziness as if anyone owes you anything. Nothing is free in the entire universe, and you need to pay with yourself, as Gurdjieff said.
Many don’t pass the tests and threshold. Their soul may need another few lifetimes until it is ripe and conscious enough to answer the call.
I’m not implying that it is easy. I was on the brink of giving up many times, ending this life or just giving in to my lower nature cravings like Cypher in the Matrix.
The more you progress, the narrower the path gets, and any misstep results in a deeper fall than before.
As it is written, many are called, yet few choose to answer the call. The “choosing” needs to come from the immortal soul-being. It’s not the ego-personality that chooses. In fact, the [wounded] ego will resist and deny the call, giving you all kinds of excuses and justifications for why you can’t do it.
As the Light (Divine) shined a merciless light into the darkest corners of my psyche/Being, bringing all up that needs to rise up, be faced, and transmuted, the less I was able to lie to myself, engage in spiritual bypassing or rationalize it all away, but the more I took responsibility for everything in my life and the more freedom I experienced, being more present and engaged in life.