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Thijs came up with this piece of wisdom: Feeling can be triggered by anybody or -thing and take over control. Once you’ve noticed your feelings going out of control, everything is lost. You don’t know where you are at, and people literally say ‘you’ve lost your mind.’ Before you had everything ordered, your mind and your feelings were communicating and collaborating with one another, Like a horsemen/woman does with his horse. Let’s look this from a closer view, The horsemen made a commitment to his horse and therefore’ also the other way around, Trough speaking the right language they can communicate and are both much more than each one on his own. They become dependent on one another to be able to create what they createtogether ; walking their walk! They are responsible for one another and still both their own entities, respectfull to their own needs. Collaborating together fulfills their needs, separated they are both lost. Now imagine, you being the horsemen walking next to your horse, the path you are walking is clear and smooth. Suddenly there’s very low tot the ground flying over the path a giant helicopter or airplane, (like a boeing 747 or anything that’s way too big and noisy) which disrupts the harmonious walk. your horse starts to panic and flee, cause he/she reacts as it is a danger to him/her. What are you gonna do? A horsemen well connected to his/her horse will be able to calm the horse down, this connection based on trust will make the horse be just a bit nervous for a couple of seconds instead of fleeing as far as possible till he/she found him/her-self safe again. A horsemen not well connected to his/her horse will just lose his/her horse and hope it will come back soon. Eventually the horse will come back, cause it is trustful to the horsemen, if there has been build up at least a bit of trust. In other cases, we just speak about a wild horse, not to be able to handle at all. So now lets see your horse acting like your emotions do, and see the horsemen acting like your mind. think about it for a minute yourself, before reading further… If your emotions are so upset and your mind is not able to tune in on this emotions and not able to put things into the right perspective, your emotions are gonna run off with you like the wild horse does, and since only both can be complete together, you’re mind is gonna be gone too. You reached the point of acting out of your mind and like you don’t know about emotions, You reached the state of hurting yourself or anybody, you forgot it all in one ‘blink’. Try to make a good connection between your mind and your emotions, make them be good friends that can talk to one another, feel what your emotions do with you and use your common sense to put them into the right perspective and bring them into this world you’re living in. This way you are able to walk your path together with your horse, whatever happens harmoniously and steady, respectful to one another and responsible for one another. So also your mind/horsemen can find comfort (warmth, company, joy, direction, rest,…) and rely on you’re emotions/horse, when there’s need to. And so we walk our walk, with one another…. little steps… little steps… slowly but steady…. little steps… little steps… slowly but steady…. Enjoy this discovery in yourself, it’s great fun! Remember that there is no control but there is commitment! Remember that this way you can feel yourself and act in a way of love and respect towards yourself and others by deciding what‘s really good for you. Remember that you need a healthy portion of discipline for this to create this commitment within yourself and also with others. Remember that freedom is responsibility. with love, Thijs
To Hell with small talk. We are each a burning rage of wildfire and we ignore it for chit-chat over
the weather, far-off politics, and diet fads. And the niceties really make me sick…the
well-practiced monologue detailing who I am based on country, hobbies, and age…the
exchange of “oh, I love your-” with women and the “hmm…so tell me about yourself” with men;
I’ll be honest right now – I really don’t care.
There is no presentation that will impress me. Stop showing off – tricks are for dogs, and I’m not
interested in holding anyone’s leash.
Stop complaining; if you look up from your feet every now and then you’re bound to notice that
you’re alive – and nothing else was ever promised to you.
Stop making a drama out of affection; take the energy I offer and do something with it. I promise
to be even more receptive when you come to me out of Love rather than bottomless need.
Stop trading likes and dislikes…the fact that we both like jazz brings us no closer together than
the fact that we both dislike bladder infections, so stop glorifying similarities. The same goes for
swapping travel stories; you cann ot learn a nything about a person based on where they have
been, and the retelling is a feel-good elixir for the ego. I would rather know w hat you know…if
you know it yourself.
Why are we talking anyway? Because the silence is awkward. We all have better things to do
than spend our time and energy appropriately avoiding awkward moments…so let’s shut up and
give ourselves a chance to discover what it is we really want to communicate.
Ask yourself, am I listening (or am I just wait ing for a chance to talk?) If you’re not listening then
you need to admit that this has no chance of being a conversation and you may as well go
practice with a mirror.
By saying this am I painting mys elf in any particular image? As important, modest, intelligent,
funny, mature? (Careful – we often try to negate ourselves by making ourselves out to be
unimportant, silly, naive…self-depreciation is also a form of self confirmation.)
Does wha t I want to say lead to action? If not, don’t bother. Speaking for the sake of
entertainment is hugely overrated…it’s just a socially encouraged way of avoiding being present.
You want to talk with me? First become comfortable with the silence. You want to touch me?
First look in my eyes and see yourself. Stand up straight and be vulnerable – now I’m listening.
Maybe now you’re asking, So, we’re just supposed to go around all serious and quiet? Life is
supposed to be fun! And that’s exactly right, life is fun – but there is a thin line between rejecting
all the things you don’t find exciting, and recognizing the fun in life at every turn. Life is a miracle
in and of itself, and if you’re not enjoying the ride a s it is you have no one to blame but yourself.
If you can’t change the stage, change the role you play on it. It’s all about perspective.
Please do not mistake humor, enjoyment, and playing for hysteria, excitement, and gaming:
Happiness is much closer related to contentment than to laughter. Humor is a state of mind, not
a joke; it’s the ability to recognize the ups and downs of life as the ultimate carnival ride. Humor
is the ability to say God be praised in an avalanche. Modern man has reassigned humor to
mean entertainment which, by avoiding presence, allows everyone involved to avoid feeling the
avalanche. You use entertainment to link yourself with other people who are also interested in
avoiding the present moment. The glue you use to hold everyone together? Empty laughter.
There is nothing quite so pricklingly painful as laughing along with something which isn’t
funny…and each time you do you slip away from your real humor, your natural appreciation.
Enjoyment is a surrender while excitement is a chase. To enjoy something/someone you have
to accept it/them exactly as it/they are on the moment; excitement is the giddy building of
anticipation for something which you think/hope will happen. To enjoy you have to recognize
yourself as your own master (take responsibility for yourself) and thereby know satisfaction at
each moment; excitement is chasing something perpetually around the next corner so that you
are a victim to your imagination and you watch your life go by as though it were a film playing
Playing is the way you move through life rather than a manipulation. The world we live in is the
ultimate playground and playing is unavoidable so long as you are breathing. Game-playing is
an insult to living; Gods dressing up like donkeys. Game-playing is the different
personas/roles/masks you wear with different people; it is always an act, and it will leave you
exhausted. So just stop – let all your selves come crashing down around your ears and try
something else. Maybe try being honest.
And enough with the grown-up children. We have confused ‘keeping the inner child alive’ with
miming out spoiled, irresponsible children. Keeping the inner child alive means to retain your
unbiased wonder for the world, to accept everything that comes with open arms, and to see only
what is there rather than what you imagine should be there…it has nothing to do with o nly doing
what you want.
What you want is a delusion anyway, so try addressing what you need instead; I’ll bet it has
nothing to do with ‘appropriate’. Your need doesn’t understand the words “I can’t”, and it may
not care about convenience…and it is the only guide you have in this life.
“It’s all up to you.
You are completely responsible for your life.
You are the creator.
It’s an awesome burden and a great freedom.
It’s all up to you.
When you take responsibility for one life, you assume responsibility for all life.
If you fail to take responsibility for your life, you do not exist.
Tough, isn’t it?
When you finally realize how really tough it is, when you finally accept life, when you finally find
there is no way out but self-awareness and the incredible pain and loneliness and responsibility
it brings, then and only then will you begin to be alive, and begin to know the joy of freedom.”
– Paul Williams, Das Energi
Dear women;Let’s stop this nonsense!Since the moment we first understood that men and women attract one another we have been on the lookout for the ‘perfect man’, filling out heads with mostly frivolous and illusory expectations and standards…but underneath all the fluff instilled in us by society, culture, and the media, we all dream of the same sort of “real man”: a man who takes responsibility for himself, who appreciates how his actions ripple out into the world and who does his own metaphorical laundry. A man who feels; who cries when he’s sad and laughs in his joy; who asks for help when he’s lost and apologizes when he is wrong. A man who doesn’t try to be a hero – who is a human being who stumbles and falls, going through life with open eyes and the determination to do his best. A man who offers himself to life – giving himself 100% to whatever comes across his path without resentment or neglect. A man who protects without trying to rescue, asserts himself without showing off, who leads but doesn’t try to possess, and whose words bring action and spread honest truth. A man who at every instance Loves women; not lustful, possessive, macho love…Love like a tree loves the soil it grows in; a man who Loves women above all else – above pride, above ambition, above his own desire, and who sees in women the secret she hardly dares to believe herself – that a free woman is the living manifestation of perfection and beauty.
We are all looking for these men – and the painful truth is that ALL men have this within them, but it takes a women utterly true to herself to invite him out.
Things have gotten the way they are in the world because men and women have forgotten themselves, and therefore forgotten how to find one another – leaving both sexes feeling neglected and untrusting. There is a lot to say about the unraveling that has come about between men and women, but when it comes to repairing this divide there is something critical to understand in the difference between men and women; together they make something complete, meaning that they are two seperate pieces which together make a whole. They do not have the same needs and abilities because they were never meant to exist alone. Men exist as a mirror for women; his greatest ability (his “only real authority”, Barry Long) is in bringing joyful pleasure to women. Women exist as a living representation OF pleasure – and through pleasure she knows her one genuine submission to man as the overflowing chalice of Love. So the old adige that men need women but women don’t need men is not exactly true; to have any real purpose (to know themselves as Gods) men must be allowed to express their appreciation of women, and to embody their power (to know themselves as Goddesses) women must let men do this. But most of the time, we don’t. We have had fear and resentment and dominance conditioned into us (ironically, often by men themselves) so that the idea of surrendering utterly to a man inspires hysterical laughter in many women, or else the urge to break things and run for the hills. But if men are the hammering fist, then women are the closed door against which he is beating himself. Women, as the living manifestations of Love, are the ones with the greatest power to make a change. It’s time to stop manipulating men. If you don’t see that this is what you’re doing, let me assure you that no one but the most dedicated con-artist would dedicate themselves to self-limitation to the extent that we have. We are masters; so thoroughly engrossed in our posing that some of us have convinced even ourselves it’s genuine. We play alluring, using his attraction for us as leverage and putting ourselves on the market so that we might catch the attention that makes us feel worthy; we play strong, miming ‘power’ as we have observed in men so as to intimidate him and feel competent in a man’s world; we play helpless to draw him in, making ourselves small so that he might feel big and influential – puffing up his ego in the hope that he might become addicted to the feeling; we play mother, hushing and soothing and patting him into a little boy so that we can feel superior; we play seductive, making ourselves into the wet-dream of exactly the sort of man we’d like to attract (though whether our conscious idealism matches our energetic output is another matter), dangling ourselves in front of his nose, conditioning him through the swing of either lavishing attention on him or withholding contact until he is either reduced to a panting house pet or resigned to the leash which he occasionally tugs on, resulting in outbursts of (justifiable if not constructive) anger, disloyalty, aggression, and sabotage to every relationship he can reach. We dominate him, attacking with whatever weapons we find in our hands, drawing out his insecurities, instilling guilt by playing the victim, and encourage false idealism (to which he knows he will never measure up). We shame him, trick him, beguile him, smother him, intimidate him…all so as to back him into a corner and we might feel vindicated in our own fears and resentments. We resent him for his weakness at the same time that we do everything we can to domesticate him out of his natural wildness. This does not a real man make. This is not Love, and therefore it is not Woman. Sisters…please. Before blaming men for your dysfunctional relationships or playing the victim in a man’s world, take a look at your relationship with Men as a whole. Try to distinguish between what you have experienced and what you have learned; examine the parts you have played up until now and ask yourself honestly whether they have ever gotten you where you wanted to be. Since the dawn of time we have known that women rule the world and men build it, so if we’d like to know who is responsible for the mess we need look no farther than the dirt under our own nails. Take courage sisters, and be strong like a woman; with Love, through trust, in surrender to the knowledge that no one (no man) can bring about any harm we do not wish on ourselves. We can rebuild the world. We can bridge the gap between the sexes and turn our attention from revenge and survival to celebration and expansion. We can reinstate men as the Gods of our pleasure and once more know ourselves as the mothers of the universe. It just takes a leap of faith, and the willingness to go in search of your truth. Start now.
P.S. To the men reading this, there is also much for you to do: don’t encourage the games women play by falling for them…if it doesn’t sound like love, look like love, or FEEL like love, it’s not love, and wishing otherwise won’t change that – so follow the women (and men) who offer you real Love NOW (not only after you’ve changed everything about yourself and built up a kingdom for her); face up to your own hunger, and stop inflicting it onto women…you will only know how to love her when you can see past your next orgasm – and trust me, you’ll want all your energy when she opens to you; practice patience…and silence. While being still you will see all the things you miss while imposing yourself…like peace, and your own center of balance. A man who isn’t afraid of the inside of his own head has a lot more to offer the world than one constantly trying to drown himself out.